Sep. 18th, 2017

No Refills

Sep. 18th, 2017 12:42 am
Here I am, sitting here silently on a quiet Sunday night when I should be laying down in my bed. The pharmacist decided to not refill my anti-depressant prescription that I have been taking for over 6 years because she said it interferes with the other anti-depressant that I take in the morning. The problem is that without it, I am not able to fall asleep.

My other anti-depressant is also low on refills, and when I don't take it I get withdrawal symptoms like nausea. Part of me is curious how I would be without any medication. Would I revert back to the way I used to be, constantly morose and pessimistic?

The sad thing is that I had pseudo-suicidal thoughts a week ago when I had to spend a weekend with my in-laws in San Diego. More accurately, it was with Davina, her sister, and her mother. When the three of them are together, they are quite possibly the most indecisive trio known to humankind. It truly was a case of paralysis by analysis, and I sat there wishing I was dead. It wasn't a serious thought, but extreme boredom can make my mind think of things, anything, just to end it.

I never admitted this to Davina, because for some reason she has it in her mind that I enjoy my time with her family as she does. When I told my boss about my torture of a weekend, he told me the next time if I don't want to go, just say that I have too much work to do and he would cover for me, which made me laugh. In fact, Davina approached me today about spending another weekend down with her mom, and said that I could hang out with her step dad.

Her step dad is a nice guy and I do feel like they criticize him too much just because he is a conservative. Although he is a nice guy, I feel like I have absolutely nothing in common with him other than the fact that we both like to eat. I am really strongly considering playing the "I'm too busy at work" card so I don't have to spend a whole weekend with the man. Sometimes I don't think Davina understands how much I need alone time just to recharge my batteries.

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calvinl

September 2017

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